Friday, December 10, 2010

Reflections on Becoming a Mother-In-Law

So, Saturday, I will officially become a mother-in-law (it was supposed to be for the second time but that fell through).  So now I'm siting here thinking about a couple of things while I try to fall asleep (third trimester tends to cut down on sleep because you're uncomfortable and always running to the bathroom).

I get asked a lot of questions when people find out that my husband is 20 years my senior (Apparently this is a large gap now although my husband points out that in the older mysteries he reads, 40 year old men are marrying 20 year old women all the time).

For instance,
Isn't it strange that your stepchildren are close to you in age?
Does your husband really want more children?
Don't you think it's strange that your children and grandchildren will be close in age?

For the first question, yes, I'm turning 26 in about two weeks and Chris my oldest stepson is 24.  Steven (the one who's getting married) is 20.  Both of them have disowned their biological mother and consider me their mother even though physically, it's not possible. 

For the second question, my husband says that his 3 kids made his first marriage bearable.  He was so excited when we had Zoe and is excited for the new girl as well.  Circumstances have made him a stay at home dad and he enjoys this challenging job (he definitely works harder than me).

For the third question, nope.  More playmates!

I do have to take this opportunity to clear up one other common misconception about an older man marrying a younger woman.  Most of the time it's assumed that the older guy left his wife for the younger woman.  Well, in our case, his ex-wife left him for an older man and I didn't come into the picture until several months after the divorce was finalized.

So, I'm getting excited for this wedding (it's going to be rather small).  Steven is marrying such a great girl who is a great match for him.  So, I'm happy and proud.



  1. Hi Joy

    congratulations on your lovely family growing further still now with your new daughter in law. I think its fab that you and your husband have found love. Nothing unusual about having a large age gap, in fact, if anything, it is gives your relationship a higher chance of success over many years because your husband already knows from bitter experience what he doesnt want in a relationship and doesnt want to repeat any mistakes he made the first time around. So I wish you both a long and happy life together.

    Not very good with words sometimes so I hope that all made sense :)

    ((( hugs )))

    Helen x

  2. Makes perfect sense to me. :)


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