Being a SAHM

I read a blog post today by Matt Walsh about how he had to defend his stay at home mom/wife to several female co-workers.  It's a very good read and you can read the entire article here.

I need to add my two cents.

I've been on both sides of the fence.  My husband and I have three children ages 2 1/2, 3 1/2 and 16.  In 2010, when the 3 1/2 year old was about 8 months old and we found out that we would be having another child, we decided that one of us should stay home.  We both worked in the same call center but customer service is not my husband's employment strength so it was decided that I would work and he would stay home.  During that time, he was looking for a different job and if he found one, we would switch and I would stay home.  That didn't happen until this spring.

When my husband was a SAHD, there were people who thought it was cool and people who thought he was a deadbeat for making me work while he stayed home.  It's more "acceptable" for me to be a SAHM I guess. So let me give you a glimpse of a typical day when I was working and a typical day now that I'm a SAHM/full time grad student.

 

The Working Mom

9 am - wake up (husband has been up since 7 am since he took the stepdaughter to school), shower, eat breakfast

9:45 - leave for work

10:50 - arrive at work, get ready for day

11 am - start work.  If calls are not back to back, I can expect about 2-10 minutes inbetween calls downtime

1:30 pm - 20 minute break

1:50 pm - back to work

4 pm - hour lunch

5 pm - back to work

8 pm - 20 minute break

8:20 pm - back to work

10 pm - down with work, drive home

11 pm - arrive at home, children are still up, help husband put children to bed

midnight - go to bed

The SAHM

5:30 am - husband gets up for work which wakes me up

6:15 am - my wake up call, wake up 3 1/2 year old

6:40 am - put 3 1/2 year old on school bus

6:41-8 am - clean kitchen and start on homework while I wait for the 2 1/2 year old to wake up, perhaps get a shower maybe

8 am - 11:10 am - continue working on homework.  Throw a load of laundry in the wash.  Vacuum and clean table.  Feed 2 1/2 year old breakfast.

11:10 am - 3 1/2 year old comes home.  Start making lunch

Noon - 2:30 pm - play with children.  Continually yell at the 3 1/2 year old for spitting/climbing/playing with cords/grabbing things/throwing things/hitting sister.  A therapist for the 2 1/2 year old may come over at this time.  Attempt to keep 3 1/2 year old from interfering

2:30 pm - attempt to get both girls into car to go get teenager from school

3 pm - arrive home, think about supper.

5:30-6:30 - serve supper, such as it is, husband may come home at this time

7 pm - bath time

9 pm - bed time

11 pm - 2 1/2 year old finally passes out

The 2 1/2 year old has made a habit of waking up in the middle of the night and staying up for hours.  That kind of throws a wrench in the whole thing.  Plus, if a child is sick, I can plan to be up all night too.  There is some downtime but not a ton of downtime and it's sporadic.